Infants and Parents in Mind

Date 9 June 2023

A long bike ride and a deep reflection.

Robin Sturman-Coombs

The inspiration for this blog, came from a long bike ride which involved getting lost (twice) and having several wasps fly towards my beard (that is a story for another day).

On long bike rides and runs I tend to listen to rhythmic music which aligns with my stride. On this bike ride I decided to listen to an audio book and happened to chance across a very well written book called “What Happened To You”, written by Dr Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey. They talk passionately and immersively about our societal approach to trauma, healing and mental wellbeing. They present and illustrate the stories and narratives of infants, children, young people and adults who have experienced some of the most complex, complicated and incomprehensible experiences. As I rode along, I became transfixed and lost in the depth of discussion, reflection and pondering on how the early days are so very profound in who we become, how we become, what we become and who we are to become in the future. Though this was well discussed, Bruce and Oprah were at pains to reinforce the importance of drawing correlations between these early life events and later life development and avoid ideas of causation between the two. I was reminded here of Dr Crittendens work in the field of attachment and powerful publication of hers titled “Raising Parents”, and the importance of appreciating that “Todays Parents are Yesterdays Children” and that parents are transported into an unknown world where there is no text book, no manual and no standard procedures. I brought these reflections and thoughts to a teaching session on the Postgraduate Certificate in Advanced Practice in Infant Mental Health and Wellbeing this week; the students and I became lost in a deep and meaningful discussion about profound early life events, parents and parenting.

I learnt a lot from this session, both about myself and my fellow participants, but also the importance of continuing to appreciate and live by a belief that early life experiences are profound and enduring, but are not determinants to an individual’s future. I see this as a real strength of the programme and it couldn’t be more apt given the impending Infant Mental Health Awareness Week.  I’m so appreciative of these rich discussions but also of the fact that Professor Eunice Lumsden has enabled the PGCert to run, for it is changing and will change so many peoples lives in the field of Infant Mental Health and Wellbeing. This Sunday will present me with a further opportunity for a long bike ride and I will likely finish off the remainder of What happened To You, but hopefully there will be no wasps this time. We have a great opportunity to change the script for so many infants and parents, we have to start with asking what happened, not judging. If you are interested in becoming a more curious and critical thinker in this field please get in touch.